Connection: Why is it Important?

Lately I’ve had a recurring thought about connections and how important they are to me.  I keep finding connections all around, connections with work, with people, with the energy that is in everything and all around us. And I’ve realized that these connections are part of what helps me stay grounded and stay strong in spite of the challenges that life brings me.

So what are these connections, why are they so important? Why do I feel better when I feel connected and can feel so bad when I am disconnected? For me, I like to start with definitions, to make sure I understand the word I’m using and that I’m using it in the same way other people are using the word. So here is the definition of connects:

  1. to join, link, or fasten together; unite or bind
  2. to establish communication between; put in communication:
  3. to have as an accompanying or associated feature:
  4. to cause to be associated, as in a personal or business relationship
  5. to associate mentally or emotionally

So in looking over the meaning of connects, it means to join, to link up somehow. The word is generally associated with positive events, in that we are connecting and joining together to build something greater than we might build by ourselves. So for me to feel connected means that I feel that I am part of something greater than myself, that I’m contributing to some cause that is positive and building up rather than tearing down. I am communicating with others, and moving towards a common goal. There is the feeling of being joined with others and that the whole is great than the parts. I become connected, joined, sharing in facing the challenges and joys that life brings. Thus, when I feel disconnected, I feel alone and as if I’m facing the world alone.

What I’ve noticed is that this disconnect is most likely to occur when I am not communicating well with other people and I am pushing myself away from people due to internal distress.  This disconnect is painful and causes more distress and starts to feed on itself. At some point I have to find a way to break out and move on, to reconnect and find that grounding energy that helps me feel more positive. Unfortunately, what I’m finding with my ability to read energy and emotions from other people is that staying grounded and staying connected can be a challenge. It is made more difficult by feeling that I need to fit into the group I’m currently with and that sharing my distress isn’t allowed. Other people that I know don’t seem to experience this distress and lack of connection so I do not have examples of other people facing the same issues.

Sharing my feelings can help me to connect but doing that is uncomfortable and makes me feel threatened. I worry about being different and not accepted and so I want to blend in. But with the energy and emotion that I pick up, it is a challenge to fit in and can be a drain. I end up in a cycle that I finally have to break out of and find the reconnection, the grounding that keeps me focused, sharing and a part of the joy and stress that is part of everyday life. I am also learning that I need to take care of myself, to rest and to honor my physical body as I honor my mental and spiritual self.  Which can be a challenge when running a small business. I also need to remember to relax and that life is to be enjoyed and not just a slog through continuing challenges. Sometimes, laughing and relaxing is okay which can be hard. Not because I don’t know how to relax but that I have relaxed too much in the past. I am still paying for this past slothfulness so it can be hard to let go in a balanced way. For me, hard lessons, but I keep striving and working to improve. The joy of life will find me and bring delight when I least expect it and the connections grow stronger