Exploring Healing: Part One

For many years I have been interested in focusing energy towards physical healing. I first became interested when I knew of a woman having a difficult pregnancy. I wanted to do something to help and for some reason I connected into energy and trying to send healing to her and the baby.

During this process I was able to visualize energy and to work on sending it to her. But it felt like there was a barrier or some type of stoppage. Beyond the usual, “This is impossible, I can’t do this” there was a sense of incompleteness while trying to move this energy.

I was out one evening, focusing on this energy and I was able to visualize this large blue ball of energy which I directed towards the woman. While doing this, I heard a voice “You cannot heal others until you heal yourself.” I stopped what I was trying and worked on understanding that sentence. I have been trying to understand that sentence for almost 20 years now. I have gained a larger understanding of that communication but there are parts that are still a mystery to me. In the end, I was not able to help and the pregnancy ended early with the baby not surviving. Due to that voice and other things in my life I moved onto other things but I continued to try and understand what I needed to do.

At first I felt that I needed to practice healing on myself and perform physical healing on myself. I worked to focus energy on myself and made not of changes that occurred. Was I successful? I might’ve been but a skeptic could easily pick apart that I had no proof of physical healing. And I remain skeptical of any physical healing I might do, it’s too easy to attribute natural healing of the body to ‘psychic’ powers. And as time passed I felt that physical healing of myself was not the intent, that there was something more. In the last few years I have come to feel that the healing refers to my mental state, which has needed some help. I also feel that there is a component beyond simple functioning and an implication of a certain state of mind that would be beneficial to myself. I feel like I am on a better path because I have felt that the communication has changed.

From the more negative “You cannot heal others until you heal yourself.” the sentence has morphed to “You can heal others when you can heal yourself.” My state of mind has also changed to what I think is a more positive outlook at life. Have I achieved the complete enlightenment that I need? No, I am still very much a student, with a clearer understanding of how much there is to learn. But I at least feel that I am on a path upward instead of meandering around in life. What is the state of mind, you might ask? The state of mind is one that goes to healing not for the sake of my ego but for the sake of working towards the light and the positive. I need to be able to remove focus from myself and my physical needs of ego gratification, satisfaction and other worldly emotions in order to work towards the purest motives and the good for all concerned.

Yet what drives me most is the interest in alleviating suffering in this physical plane. I understand intellectually that each person has their own path to travel, their own obstacles to overcome but for those I care about I want to remove those obstacles. It can be hard to watch others suffer through things that I feel like I should be able to fix in someway. In pondering over the state of mind required for physical healing I feel that there is a key item for the success. The individual must find a method of opening the mind and seeing beyond the physical. In this state the physical will become a portion of their journey and not the complete focus. When this state occurs then the person will be able to heal but it will be a side effect of the state of mind they have achieved. The person will be able to heal, if they choose, but it it won’t be a primary focus but rather a tool to use in aiding others. I’m not quite sure how to get to that mind state but I continue to practice on focusing energy and guiding it for a benevolent outcome for all.