Advice for Marriage

While my husband and I were out today, I was chatting with a young woman for a bit while we were waiting for something. She had asked about our marriage and how long we had been together (25 years this year) and she wanted to ask us for some advice. She is getting married in a couple of months and although she is in love she said she was nervous about the wedding and how things would be when they got married. Several people had told her that her husband to be would change once they got married and that she should be prepared. I told her that things could be rough the first year but that if she and her husband worked at it, they could do alright. But later on, I thought of some more advice I might give to new couples starting out. Since I’m wordy it’s unlikely that I will be passing these on in casual conversation but here they are anyway. 🙂

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I’m continuing to explore the odd things that I seem to sense. This sensing isn’t new for me, I can remember walking to kindergarten and feeling comforted by the presence of friends or spirits that walked with me. I remember having many talks with them and with God on those walks to and from school. But since talking to invisible people is somewhat frowned upon in the culture I live in, I have not normally talked about these conversations with other people. I already stand out enough that I didn’t feel a great need to add to my differences from other typical people.

I am female and I like math and science, I enjoy reading science fiction, I can program computers and have done so as a career, and I am interested in how things are put together and how they work. I like to work with wood and build things and I enjoy these guy type things. I also liked to bake, I like to have flower gardens, when I have the time, I collect doll house miniatures and I like to paint. And I enjoy being a women even though I think putting on makeup is a waste of time and money, jeans, t-shirts and sneakers are good clothing so I can crawl around on the floor hooking up computers and I like being able to carry my shopping bags, although I will let a fellow carry things if he offers. In other words, I don’t fit an easily identifiable stereotype in this culture.

After mulling  things over, researching items, I’m starting to think I have an additional oddity, in that I have things I sense that fit in with what other people call psychic. Doesn’t mean I’m able to read thoughts, move things around with my thoughts or alter how people react. But I do seem to pick up on emotions and energy that other people don’t or if they do they don’t talk about it normally. I found a description of this type of thing, some people call it the woo-woo stuff. This seems to fit so well, as it all seems very out there and froo-froo and out in la-la land. Some of the things I pick up, I can see that there are mundane explanations, such as cold reading and other techniques. But then there are other times where I seemed to pick up long distance negative energy from an item a friend had bought and seemed to have a spate of bad luck after buying the object. Or feeling like someone who has passed on wants to communicate with someone and that person has been smelling scents associated with that person before I talked to them.

Now, I’m not very good at this, things are not clear and a lot of times I feel like I am walking around on a thin crust of snow that could fall in at any second. I don’t see lights or orbs or get detailed messages from the great beyond. But I do feel like there is some connection, that everything around us has some kind of energy that can be felt and that there is more to be sensed than what we normally recognize in our culture. And I’ve seen other people sense this energy and react to things I’ve done in trying to clear energy or pass on messages. Not enough to convince other people but enough little bits to have me believe that perhaps I’m not completely delusional.

If I am, there seem to be other people who experience the same kind of delusions. After looking over events in my life, I can see how these events have had an effect on me and continue to have an effect on my life. But it’s only been within the last 3 months that I have come to some acceptance of abilities that I seem to have. Yet, I remain skeptical and try to be somewhat cautious about what I talk about and where I talk about it.  But it feels like such a relief to be able to talk about these things with someone that I sometimes go overboard in my sharing. I can see that I will be building a balance between the physical and spiritual world that I am perched between. Yet I feel so much more myself and that I have found a piece of myself that had been lost for such a long time. It is a strange journey I am traveling on, it will be interesting to see where I end and what friends I travel with on my road to somewhere else.

Soul Mates – Ultimate Ideal or Limited Focus?

Many people are familiar with the representation of soul mates, two people who are ideal for each, will seek each other out, no matter the cost, in order be together for eternity. The book and movie “What Dreams May Come” demonstrates this striving even unto death but the idea is not new.  The legend of Orpheus and Eurydice from the ancient Greeks is an example of great love and seeking for that love into death. When we ponder love I suspect examples like this come to mind as the ultimate ideal, what love is all about and what we should strive for. A love for another person, that is shared, that will go against death.

But is this truly an ideal love?

With soul mates there is an implication of a limit to a great and only love that last through the ages. What about other people we care about, where we want the best for them and to not see them hurt? Is our love less because they aren’t a soul mate? And should we be limiting our love in this way? As I’ve gotten older I’d like to think that my love and caring wouldn’t be limited but that it could grow. This expression of that love would be different with each person because we are unique beings. In some cases it would be a sharing of mental and spiritual, at other times a sharing of physical and spiritual and at some times a sharing of physical, mental and spiritual. Since I am a physical being the expression of love in the physical body can be strongly desired. Yet, now that I am older and those fires of youth burn a little lower I can see that physical sharing is just one piece of love and in some cases may not be an expression of love at all. The key is not the physical pleasures but the sharing and the caring that occurs.

That sharing can occur between two children, giggling as they play their games, two young people, madly in love but also caring deeply about each other or with two older people, one frail and barely holding on but still sharing the love and light that has only deepened with their experiences with each other. So the term soul mates seems limiting when the true expression of love should be allowed to grow. This expression could be shared with many different people in many different ways. This sharing is not limited to only physical, mental or spiritual sharing, rather these expressions of self are the expression of love but not love itself. Love is a light that allows us to care for another and want the best for them even if it may harm us in some way. Ultimately, this caring could lead to death in trying to protect the loved one. And the other person would be working to prevent that sacrifice. That is love which can be shared among many.

A Little of This Energy, A Little of That Energy

As is my habit, I have been thinking about the energy flows I pick up and the differences in what I pick up. For example, why do I pick up a flow from one object and more of a glow from some other object as I try to read information from it? And why don’t I pick up health information very clearly? I’m picking up energy, shouldn’t I pick up all of that energy in the same way?

Yet, the expression of this matter and energy is very different in each case. The paper clips are defined as metallic and feel slightly cold or warm to the touch, depending on the outside environment. They have a metallic smell to them, if I hold one close to my nose, are firm to the touch but can be changed into other shapes. Compare this to the teddy bear who is soft, has a neutral temperature, a slightly new smell, can be bent around but if I pull too much then he will come apart. Both items made from atoms and energy but having very different expressions in the physical world. Now, contrast this with how I sense these different properties. In seeing the metal and furry properties, I can simply look across my desk, across a few inches and with a fairly small effort I can discern these qualities. For something like the temperature, I have to reach over and touch the items, perhaps even pick it up in order to get a sense of the hotness or coldness of the item. Same thing for smell, I have to pull the object over and smell it.

As I get more experience with different examples of the same type of object, I need less experience to figure out the properties. For example, with the paper clips, I didn’t feel every single paper clip to see if they were all hot or cold, I touched one or two of them and based on that sampling I figure the others are the same temperature. Using these examples I can start to see how I might have an easier time reading some energy and in other ways be blocked. My primary sense for psychic things is feeling things. For example, when I report ‘seeing’ the color red around someone, it is more like I felt the energy and it ‘felt like’ the color red. As I get more experience in feeling red, I am now starting to ‘see’ red when I have that feeling.  With energy that I have more experience in sensing and associating with some physical world happening, I have an easier time in identifying what I am able to pick up. With other things, like trying to read health energy, I have less experience so that image/feelings are not as clear when I try to read a person. Gives me more food for thought and things to practice on as I continue to try and clarify what I read.

Empathy Dashboard

As I continue to learn more about my abilities, one  thing I keep working on is better control of my empathy. In looking over my feelings and reactions, I am starting to feel that some of the strong emotions that I have experienced have not been my own but the reflection of others emotions. Because of these strong emotions and not understanding what they are, I feel that they have been a partial cause of my depression. In the last few weeks as I’ve worked to disconnect from the strong emotions around me, I have found less cause for depression and a calmer feeling within. Whether this is due to exercises to help me handle my empathy or my own emotions, I don’t know but whatever the cause of the strong emotions, the exercises I do have helped.

I found these exercises in a book that was recommended, “Empowered by Empathy : 25 Ways to Fly in Spirit” by Rose Rosetree. There are two exercises that I use primarily.

The first is for grounding myself, it involves doing a self assessment of how I feel physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. After doing the assessment, I connect to the earth and ground myself in order to pull energy to stay focused. After doing this exercise I then perform a scan of what external emotions I might be picking up. As part of this exercise I take a moment to see what impressions I get, such as sights, sounds, smells, feelings, etc. After doing an inventory of those feelings I then take a moment to disconnect and affirm to myself that I have the right to not have to be connected to others and just be myself. After practice, these two exercises have helped me a great deal in being grounded and not overwhelmed by fear and depression as I go through the day. I have had periods of rest like this in the past but this respite feels different in that it feels like it is based on a firm foundation.n

In the past I have had feelings of exuberance and happiness but they have the feeling of what I call fragile emotions. These are emotions that can be very positive but are thinly based and can be shattered very easily by one negative comment or negative feedback. These fragile feelings also don’t last and as I get tired the happiness wears out and I find myself withdrawing in an attempt to not lose more energy. With the contentment of the last few weeks there is a feeling of solid ground, of a foundation that is not easily dismissed by negative events or negative energy from those around me. I still have bad moments but they are only moments not hours or days of feeling fearful, distressed and otherwise uncomfortable in my own skin. I have also felt like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders and just the relaxation from that feeling has been powerful.

Anyway, as a part of all of this I have been noticing patterns when I do the inventory of what emotions I might be picking up. At first there was just a sense of a very small TV or monitor that I would see some kind of shapes on it. I had no idea what the shapes were associated with or what the colors meant. As I’ve built up experience I feel that I am starting to make sense of what I sense. I have also noticed consistency in that the same shapes show up and the same colors are repeated. Over the last couple of days I have made gotten a clearer image and felt compelled to draw up what I see. The image I drew is based on what I pick up for people I associate with on a regular basis.

An empathy dashboard with two lines of drawings. The top line consists for circles showing smaller circles that are open or closed. The bottom line is made up of squares with the lines and colors correlating to the upper symbol

Because I am very much a software/computer person, I feel that the images I receive are like computer icons. In this case the icons stand for humans. The same shape is used with a different color and feel for each person. For each of these icons, there are 4 shapes held together that form a square. There are breaks between them and some overlap, which I’ve tried to show. I don’t know why that’s important but it feels important for some reason. Along with that icon, there is a connector associated with the person. The connector is what I use as an image when I disconnect from that persons emotions. I tried pictured cords and cutting them but that was uncomfortable and trying to just stop the energy was very uncomfortable.

In those cases, I was still connected, just blocking the energy which continued to try and come in. With the connectors I feel that I can pull the connection with little violence and support a connection later on. The symbols above represent people I associate with on a regular basis. The colors I see seem to reflect the internal energy of that person, perhaps the color of their aura. The white and black should not be associated with good or evil but more with an expression of order versus chaos or uncertainty within the individual. And for different people, the same color may represent different things, at this point I don’t have enough experience to know what the colors may reflect.

For the connectors, I have drawn them as if they had male and female connect points. The gold colored are male and the black are female connections. The number of each type of connector is not the deciding factor on the feelings, just an indicator of how that person connects with energy of others around them. The connectors represent the reaching out and the taking in of energy that the person has, in the environment that I know them in. In different settings these connections could change, depending on the circumstances, at least that’s what I sense with what I know now. Finally, for each person I came up with a one word description of the connection I feel from each. The description has to do with the connector and how each person uses their connection to the energy around them. Again, the description doesn’t have to do with the female and male connections but more with how they use that connection.

This description could change for each person depending on the circumstances that I interact with them. What happens now when I do an inventory for distressed emotions is that I get a picture of one or more of these icons showing up on my empathy dashboard. I then get a sense of energy flowing from that icon that seems to reflect the emotion that person is feeling. Most of the time I automatically pick up on negative emotions however I can choose to pick up on positive or neutral emotions from people around me as a comparison. As I’ve built up experience I’ve been able to associate these icons with specific people and emotions. This association helps me separate my feelings and disconnect easier. It also gives me a heads up that I may be heading into a situation that could provide strong emotional feedback that I need to be prepared for. With this preparation I can keep a better handle on my own emotions and handle difficult situations a bit better. I suspect that there is more to learn, such as do I get different icons for different types of people and what other colors might I receive. Will be interesting to see what I find out in the future.

Old Souls, Advanced Studies

I ran across a blog post about old souls and I started thinking about the terms used. I’ve also read other things about the ideas of old souls and young souls and here is what I interpreted the terms to mean.  All of us are here to learn lessons and to advance and grow on a spiritual level, just as we do in our physical activities. With differences between each of us, some have had more experience and could seemed more advanced than other people.

One way to refer to this is by old souls, those who have more experience in spiritual growth where younger souls are those with less experience. Each soul is equal in opportunity and potential with some souls having pursued more testing than other souls. However, there is an implication that perhaps one is better than the other along with implications on how an old soul would act when compared to a young soul. Myself, I can see ways to expand these definitions and perhaps use different terms to describe our growth.

Perhaps a better model of describing the differences in spiritual growth is to look at a teacher student model. In this case, students could be beginners, advanced or expert in various areas. Or perhaps the terms apprentice, journeyman and master could be used, similar to terms used to describe people learning crafts. As part of the life here, each soul is taking a course in some area and is proceeding through various tests that will help them learn lessons. The lesson plan is varied and can include topics like helping others, empathy with others, humility and confidence in oneself. Other lessons could be enjoying the physical, being comfortable with prosperity and learning how to deal with success in physical environments.

These are just some of the many, many lessons each and very person could have setup as options in their life. Throughout each soul would always have a choice to learn that lesson or to move on to another, all of that depending on where they are in their lesson plan and growth. In looking over this lesson plan it can be easy to think that the more advanced souls would have prosperous lives here, with little conflict. When comparing to other lives, it might be easy to think “I’m doing so much better, I must be doing things right and learning exactly what I need when I need to.”

In my opinion, I think this misses the point. Think about subjects that you have learned the most about and which have had the most impact. Were they lessons where you didn’t have to work at the subject and were able to come up with answers at the drop of a hat? Or do you remember more the lessons where you struggled, had troubles and finally overcame and mastered the lesson? For me, it’s the lessons where I’ve struggled, wondered if I would get the concept and finally made a breakthrough, those are the lessons that strike a tone with me. I remember the other type of lessons but they don’t have the same power I get when I overcome something rather than just gathering up the learning. By using this perspective looking at other people changes how we might view beginning and advanced students. That person who is doing really well and seems to be prosperous? Maybe they are more of a beginner who didn’t feel they wanted to take on too much in this life. What about that person who’s entire life seems to be a disaster waiting to happen? Perhaps this is a more advanced soul who decided they wanted to cram for this life and so they are packing in as many challenges as they can in order to get an accelerated path.

Of course the person who is prosperous and doing well could also be an advanced student who is taking a break in this life or wants to have the opportunity to share. And person with a troubled life is a beginner who took on a bit too much and is struggling because of it. I do think one thing, that if you think you are an advanced or old soul, you probably aren’t.  Once you gather up knowledge and understand how much you don’t know and how much there is to learn, I suspect you would find it hard to believe you’ve achieved full master status. We aren’t all above average and not everyone is an ascended master who has deigned to wander about with us mere mortals. It’s okay to be an average soul doing your best to learn and grow in this life. We all are part of the white and walk in the light. And sometimes our purpose here is to help others learn their lessons by causing difficult situations, generating chaos and other negative activities. In this case, who is doing more, the soul that is learning the lesson or the soul who has offered to be the lesson and perhaps slow down their progress?

Heyokah – I am My Biggest Joke on Myself

Because of who I am and how my life has been, I tend to view life very seriously, with a grave demeanor as I  look over my work and how I live my life. All too often, life then proceeds to serve me up with a banana peel so I can take a prat fall and lose every bit of my dignity as I slip and fall to the ground. Or drop that big piece of food down my shirt, which leaves a large stain on my light colored shirt. In other words, something will happen that I can either laugh or cry at. The lesson is learning that it’s all funny, that I take myself way too seriously and that I need to lighten up. Heyokah!

The two months has been a transition period for me as I have gained a great deal of insight into myself and as such, I have been very serious.  I have been pondering over what I’ve done wrong, how I will never change and how I am stuck in a rut. And during this whole time of beating up on myself, feeling lonely I never think of asking for someone for help. I finally realized that I was purposely closing myself off when I most needed help, feeling miserable when someone, actually many people, were around who would be willing to lend me a hand. I finally realized that one evening and I had to laugh at how silly I had been. I had been complaining to myself of how lonely I was when I was purposely keeping myself closed off. While that may not be the largest joke I can play on myself, I suspect it ranks up there on a top ten list.

And so, the concept of heyokah, the sacred clown, the trickster, reminded me once again that I need to lighten up. I had a couple more lessons of laughing at myself, one at refusing to let go of something that caused me great pain and another one that I can’t remember now, but I do remember that it was pretty funny once I got the joke. So, remember, if things are looking way too serious, you aren’t sure how you are going to get through, take a look around to see what practical joke you are preparing to play on yourself. Now, for a joke to share, to help you lighten up. 🙂

A religious man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, “My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted the Sabbath.” The man thinks: ” What does a priest know about sex?” He goes to a minister… a married man, experienced, for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority, a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge: a rabbi. The rabbi ponders the question and states, “My son, sex is definitely play.” The man replies, “Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?!” The rabbi softly speaks, “If sex were work . . . my wife would have the maid do it.”

Sacred Spaces

One things I’ve noticed is that there a places of the earth that I call sacred spaces.  Some people might think of these as churches, synagogues, mosques, shrine or other physical dwelling that has been raised by humans. From my experience, these buildings can contain bits of the sacred but they aren’t what I mean by a sacred space.

I have found a sacred space to be a place where I can talk with my higher self, my spirit guides or other divine beings with less interference and static. It is a place of the earth where I can connect to earth and draw energy and find comfort in my times of need. For me, I usually find these places where people do not frequently walk and where it is easier to see the works of nature.  That does not mean that there is no man made artifact at these locations or that man is unnatural. Churches can contain a sacred space, especially with so many people sharing energy in a place in order to try and touch the divine. However, because I pick up on people’s emotions and energy it can be overwhelming to be in a man made place with all of that extra energy, positive and negative, while I am trying to quiet my mind and listen to what the universe has to say to me.

So I have found that I prefer to walk in nature, where there are few people so that I can hear guidance for my situations a bit more easily. These spots do not have to be far from people, one of my current favorite spots is within eye sight of a freeway and has a nice bench to sit on. The spot draws me because of a large tree that seems to shelter the spot and hold good earth energy that helps me feel more positive.  There is a feeling of good energy and a clearer connection with who I really am what I want to strive to be. There is another spot that I like to visit, that is a further hike and doesn’t have the nice bench. It is surrounded by tall trees that somehow seem a focus for some higher power. When I am in these spots, my mind quiets and I feel like I can receive clearer guidance. The clearer guidance could be me talking to myself or it could be spirit guides or angels, but there is a feeling of something that helps me find peace for a time and to remind me that I’m not alone.

Sacred spaces do not have to be in an area with trees, the key in finding one is to search for that place where you hear that voice that helps guide you to live in the light and use your energy wisely. Your place could be a church, a shrine, a park in your neighborhood, a quiet corner in your office building that no one uses much, any of these can be a place for  you to connect. Your inner voice will let you know when you have found you sacred space.

What is a Psychic?

I am continuing my exploration of my psychic abilities, although my apparent progress has slowed a bit. I suspect that because of a decrease in energy around me (see this post) I am experiencing an equivalent drop. It also feels like a break from all of that energy and activity is needed so I can be more refreshed for the next phase of development. In the meantime, I continue to ponder things, trying to make sense of what has happened and what abilities I have. As part of that thought I have had a question, what is a psychic?

For me, this is an important question and gets back to another question, are psychics real? Am I really experiencing things or am I delusional, making things up and fooling myself and other people? Because I am choosing to live a more positive life, with an emphasis on growing good in the world, this question concerns me. Am I doing harm to myself and others because of my delusional ideas? If so, I should not continue exploring these supposed abilities or would it be better if I stopped?

The nature of the delusion will have me not wanting to stop so do I need to make an effort to quit exploring these senses? After thinking this over, I came back to the question, what is a psychic? And I then found an answer that is broken into several parts. Here are my thoughts on what a psychic might be.

A person with psychic senses is delusional – This is the first thing that crossed my mind and is the one that has me worried about harm I might do. The next step is to examine what harm might be caused by believing in something that isn’t real. One harm might be that I might hear something or sense something that would cause me to physically harm myself. The idea of voices talking, telling me to hurt myself or hurt others is something that I would find unacceptable and that I would work to stop. If I could not do this on my own, I would seek help or hope that someone else would help me find help if I was reluctant to get help. So far, I have not had this experience. My experience has been with voices and presences that radiate love and caring for me and for others. There is a sense of humor at times that can be a bit wearing, think of that pesky younger sibling or friend that teased you growing up, but behind that there is a great deal of love. For me that has meant a feeling of support at times when I have been loneliest. There have been times when this presence has been overwhelming or scary but I don’t ever remember a feeling of danger. So if I am delusional, I have delusions that don’t guide me to hurt myself or more importantly to hurt others.  If that’s the case and I’m not pushing my delusions on other people, I don’t see a problem with this definition of a psychic.

A person with psychic senses is faking it and trying to scam people – I have run across this statement as a reason why people claiming to be psychic should not be trusted. In this case, I agree, because there is an intent to harm another person. For myself, I strongly believe that I have some type of sense for things other people don’t normally see or hear so I’m not trying to fake things. I also have no desire to take money from other people for what I might try to sense. For one thing, while I sense things, I also know that I’m not always right and that what I sense isn’t always clear. At times I feel like a fake when passing on information but then I see how that information connects with the other person so I trust that I received valid information that could help them. But for myself, I have no desire to be paid for what I do and no interest what so ever in letting a broad group of people know about the things I might be able to do. In this case, other people might think I’m a fake but I am not trying to scam anyone or make a quick buck so this definition of a psychic is also not a problem for me and my situation. For other people who say they are psychic, I would have to evaluate that person to see what I think. I will say that I have seen one or two psychics on TV and thought they were not using psychic abilities to read people. However, I don’t feel that I can say they are or are not psychic, a judgement of that type is up to the person who might want to use their services.

A person has psychic abilities that are real senses that cannot be sensed with current testing equipment – In this instance, a person does have senses but they are tied to the physical world only. Everyone has the potential to develop these senses. In my case, this describes part of what I sense. I feel that I sense an energy that is associated with everything around us. Reading this energy can provide additional information that can be used to make decisions. I call this process going with the flow, which is following the flow of energy as it moves toward the most desirable, positive outcome. Based on reading and working with other people I think this sense exists and some people are better at using it than other people just like some people are better at seeing or hearing things. This definition gets closer to what people think of as psychic but there is a real, physical component that might be detectable at some point in the future.  Think of atoms and molecules. These physical structures have always existed but it wasn’t until there was the right kind of equipment that people could actually see these physical constructs. In this case I can have psychic powers that at some point in the future could be proven in experiments. I could use these senses to harm someone but I could also use my sight to find something a weapon to harm someone too. I can make a choice on how these senses are used and I have decided that I want to use these powers to increase the good in the world. I again have no desire to advertise widely that I can do these things and I trust the people I have told to tell me if I am causing them harm in some way.

A person has physic abilities that are real senses and can sense physical things and things that are in the spiritual realm. – With this final definition, this is the one that I think causes the most fear in other people. In most cases, there is a physical object and an explanation for phenomenon that can be detected by current test equipment and explained fully. We can have a large amount of knowledge about something and with knowledge most fear is lessened and can go away entirely. With someone who claims to talk with spirits, entities, demons, astral travelers and other beings that don’t have a physical appearance, we don’t have a way to verify that information. We also become dependent on that person to provide us information and possibly protect us from mischief and malicious acts. There is no way to sense these beings, to gather knowledge and defend ourselves, and when there is lack of knowledge then fear grows. In order to fight that fear and dependency it becomes easier to say that the person is faking their communication, psychic abilities don’t exist and we are limited to sensing and communicating with only the physical plane surrounding us. It gives back control and erases the cause for fear. However, what if there is something else beyond this physical plane we exist on? Isn’t it possible that there are then people who can sense this other existence and occasionally communicate with beings who reside there? By denying this possibility, we deny the exploration and increased understanding of something that is part of our life, whether we believe in it or not. It’s like saying the earth is the center of the universe, disease is caused by foul swamp vapors, and that we will never travel to the moon.

At parts of our history these were beliefs that were later changed because of new information and exploration. How limiting to refuse to look at other possibilities because of fear and a loss of control. It is understandable but that’s why we have courage to use to find out about our world So here are the definitions of psychic that I have come up with and reviewing these, I have found various explanations that look at whether I am harming other people. I believe that I fall in with definition 4 but I understand if other people think I fall more into definition 1. I need open minded skeptics who cause me to review and question so that I don’t go too far into woo-woo land. Where I can, I prefer to work with definition 3, in finding things that other people can also sense and that can be verified with independent information. But occasionally I do find myself exploring number 4. I strongly believe that there is more to this life and that our journey here is taking us through a classroom of our design and plan. Walk in the light and find the peace to accept the good and bad that each day brings.

The Power of Need

As time goes by I have noticed increases and decreases in how clearly I read the energy around me. At times my ability to read the energy is very clear, I feel very connected to the outside energy and the answers come easily as I ask questions of my higher self or my spirit guides.

At other times the connection is distant, hard to reach and it takes more effort on my part to sense the energy flow, to hear my intuitive side. Based on a couple of experiences in the last few years I have come up with a theory as to why my ability seems to ebb and flow.

From observation it seems that when others have great need for communication with that intuitive side or with those who have passed on, I pick up that energy and become better charged and more effective in reading the energy. There is less static and I feel more connected to my other side. I first observed this about 3 years ago when a friend passed on suddenly. His death was unexpected and there were several other people I knew who were greatly affected by his passing. During the month after his death, I felt a build up of energy and attempted communication from this person that I finally passed on to one of his friends here. In looking back, this time of communication felt like one of the clearest connections I have experienced and I wondered why. In looking back I could see that there was a great deal of need on this side for people to communicate and say their good byes. I also feel that their was great need from the person who passed since his death had come very unexpectedly. With this combined need from both sides it built up energy that I inadvertently tapped into and which allowed me to act as a link between these friends so they could have a cleaner closure. As time passed, this link grew less and my senses for intuition and such reduced down to my more normal levels.

I was reminded of this again in the last few weeks. In this case there was a stressful situation with everyone waiting for news so that we could decide on a path to take. It was very frustrating for everyone and there was definitely a consensus that we wanted to know what would happen when so that we could plan accordingly. As a result there was great need for answers from someone. And again, I experienced clearer communication and felt like I was able to help other people deal with the stress and find answers to the difficult situations that life throws us. For myself, I felt like I was able to reach a new level of awareness and understanding that I will be working to keep. This week, we finally got a definite answer for the situation and after hearing the news and feeling the relief, my connection to the spirit and a higher view immediately started reducing. The need for that communication and that channel was reduced so my energy was also reduced.

I don’t see this as a bad thing and if this is correct it gives me new insight in understanding how at times I am able to have clear communication and at other times I feel as I am surrounded by cotton that keeps me from fully connecting with my higher self and my spirit guides. A couple of end notes, first is that when I talk about the level of my energy and communication I am not talking about a clear communication as if I were sitting face to face with someone who has passed or with my spirit guides. It is more like I am in a fog and I can hear things and see flashes but the fog surrounds me and I can only clearly see items that are right in front of me. When I have clearer communication it is like I have found a clear patch in the fog, with some sunlight shining through so I can see and hear things a bit clearer. But the fog is still there, sounds get muffled, objects are not clearly visible it’s just that I can see them for longer times and have a stronger feeling that what I see is real.

Based on descriptions I have read of other psychics, they seem to get much clearer communication but because I am not aware of any objective data to use for comparison, it can be hard to see how my perceptions differ or are equivalent to others. The other point is that the great need can also come from myself. In this case I believe I started the triggering process because of my great need for some kind of answer in dealing with the stress. However, with additional people also working towards the light who had great need, their energy amplified what I had and allowed me to build on it quicker and more easily. Because of  what invokes this type energy I am not eager to repeat the circumstances that create this build up even though I get clearer communication as a result. My question for myself is if it’s acceptable to tap this energy if there is not great need? And is there another way to tap into this energy that is beneficial for everyone and does not violate their privacy and their boundaries?  New food for thought, just when I thought I might get bored. 🙂