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Moving Forward by Moving Back

While I don't know that I 'feel' like writing this evening, I thought it was about time to add something new to the site. However, this is likely to be a ramble, not any organized piece of great literary value, since not a lot has happened in my life lately. But hey, what's different from my other writing, you're probably asking yourself. ;-)

I'm still travelling in a well padded, deeply dug rut. I am trying to be careful to not look too much for deep change, as I know from previous experience, change is unsettling, usually not what I thought I wanted and often times, painful because I'm not figuring out the lessons I need to learn. Yet, walking a treadmill each day doesn't seem to be much better.

But is there really a lot more to be done in life, for most people, that is. Don't most people live and die in a rut, with no seeking for some betterment of themselves or others? Why am I so different? Or am I? Am I really as different as I want to believe I am or am I very much the same as the other people who have lived and are living and will be living?

Too many questions, I surely don't know the answers. And I don't think Shirley does either. ;-) But is it important to find answers? Here I go again, with the questions, just like a young child asking why is the sky blue, where does rain come from, where does God live? Some of the questions found answers, others still live on. And I've added so many more, which leave me feeling dissatisfied with what I have and I'm able to do in my life.

Perhaps the fact that I can still ask questions is what makes the difference. I'm still seeking knowledge but I don't have a knowledgeable adult around to provide answers. I've become the (semi) knowledgeable adult and it hasn't helped. And perhaps for these questions, the journey is what's important, not a set of 'answers' that are simply handed to me. I need to find my own meaning and purpose and I'm really the best suited person in the world to do that task for myself. But sometimes I'd like to have a peek at the instructor's manual and the answers every now and again.

Enough rambling, time to see what bits and pieces I can shake out of my rut over the next bit of time. Until next time, assuming this time made any sense. :-)

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